While technology has helped transform arranged marriages, some things haven't changed. ![]() "By then we felt like we've known each other for ages." "We chatted for months and decided to go ahead before his parents spoke to my father," said one woman who gave a testimonial on. In some ways, technology has helped couples assert independence while keeping parents involved. offers video profiles, and provides marriage loans in which banks compete to finance the couple's expenses. "If your parents are really pressuring you to marry someone who's the same background as you and it's important to you, if you can't find them in the community, you might just look online." "I think they're pretty popular," says Tali's sister, Kavita, a graduate student at Michigan State University. Only when she'd found a guy she liked did she fill Tali in on her online search. Tali Kapadia's mother surfed for Gujarati Hindu men in the New York area, creating a profile for Tali, 28, who is pursuing a master's degree at Columbia University, and fielding responses from prospective suitors - all without telling Tali. There, parents can create a profile for their child (the site usually indicates who posted the profile). The Internet also has made an impact, not only through e-mail but also through sites like ("shaadi" means "wedding" in Hindi) and. A small 2006 study from a University of Washington researcher found that young Indians living in Bangalore used cell phones to get to know partners introduced to them by their parents. The rise of cell phones has made long-distance courtships easier. ![]() One of the major factors in the transformation: technology. ![]() The changes have been dramatic in the past decade or two, says Stephanie Coontz, professor of family studies at the Evergreen State College and author of books on the history of marriage. Nowadays, classically arranged marriages for immigrant families in America are much less common, and rejecting the potential partners is an increasingly easy option. She and her husband, Saud Rahman, 29, a medical resident, were introduced through family friends at a casual dinner, then e-mailed and called each other for several months. "Sometimes it feels weird for me to even call it an arranged marriage because I feel like I got to know my husband pretty well," says the 27-year-old Richmond, Virginia, optometrist. Things were different for Sabiha's younger sister, Huma Ansari, in 2005. "I kind of wanted to have some time alone with him to talk to him, or even on the phone."īut she said yes, and they were married five days later.
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